Patio Umbrella Incident Reported

To all my friends and neighbors,

I hope the following will be of value to you.

A few days ago my patio umbrella was stolen. This afternoon while walking on the Boardwalk, I came across a vendor selling his wares from under the shade and comfort of MY umbrella! When confronted, he of course denied any knowledge of the theft, maintaing it had been “given” to him by some unknown benefactor.

I hailed a passing police car and the officers investigated as best they could. However, in the absence of any specific identifying mark on the item there was nothing they could do. And so we all left the scene, leaving behind one smirking vendor. And one umbrella. Infuriating!

However, before they drove off, the officers offered me some advice which I now pass on to you.

1. Report all thefts no matter how petty. It may help and at the very least it becomes a statistic to be referred to when the subject of need for a police presence is under discussion.

2. Mark all those items you keep outside that might attract a passing thief. Umbrellas, seat cushions, etc. should be marked with indelible ink in some inconspicuous place. If you get lucky and come across the stolen item as I did, it proves it’s yours.

Well, that’s it. Now I’m going out to put ID’s on my patio seat cushions and will do the same when I purchase that new umbrella.

Michael Laurence
2410 Grand Canal